Ran's memoir of a kitty

Ran's memoir of a kitty

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"I am going to play with Chirno and Rumia, Ran-Shama!" - said Chen, running to meet Cirno and waving back at me...

Who am I? Yakumo Ran... I'd rather call myself Chen's mother, but she always refers to me as her master... I know she's my shikigami, but she still is part of the Yakumo family... Even Yukari-sama treats me as a-

"Oi, Ran, where's my breakfast?" - Yukari asked

Okay, she still treats me as her shikigami! Anyways... I don't mind it much, after all she remains so attached to me most of the time... Well, I don't want her to wait anymore, so there's no choice for me other than fix a breakfast... At midday... After everyone had their lunch already... ... Yukari-sama is a creepy yokai!

"Yukari-sama I've brought your breakfast!" - I told my master, handing her a plate with toasts and strawberry jam, taking seat by her side.

"Ah, Ran! I can clearly see you're concerned about Chen again..." - Yukari told me, poking my nose with the butter knife.

"Of course I am, Yukari-sama! What moth-" - I said, promptly covering my mouth when I realized what I was about to say.

"Eh?! My girl is finally a mother, eh?!" - Yukari said, making a one-sided smile.

"Yukari-sama! Stop teasing me!" - I exclaimed, feeling uneasy.

Yukari rested the toast on the plate after one bite, and turned her eyes to me. Something in her smile made my heart skip a beat, and the temperature raise to my cheeks.

"Ran... You are blushing..." - Yukari pointed out.

"Y-Yukari-sama!" - I said, almost choking on the air - "Stop staring at me! Why are you staring at me?!"

"Ran, you either tell me... Or I'll tickle you..." - Yukari told me, with a smirk that was almost as Dr Yagokoro's whenever she was dissecating an innocent creature.

I couldn't hold it any longer. She'd know soon or later... But wasn't it clear enough? Yakumo Yukari, the eldest dweller of Gensokyo... Didn't know what was happening with ME?! It angered me a little... But her aura was overwhelming... And I felt she was about to manipulate the boundaries. Either that or she had eye irritation. I didn't dare to risk, so I slipped the truth:

"I... I see Chen as the daughter I never had!" - there, I said it!

Yukari's reaction was... Totally expected! She sat straight again and said "Hah! I knew it!". As she laughed, I realized... She didn't know about it! How could she know?! I never told her! She must-

"-have waited for you to slip out the truth? Of course not. I knew it all the time..." - her saying this was a shock, and caused me to get at loss in the words - "Ran... Little Ran... You are too young to know me well... Black or white, sane or insane, real or dream, truth or lie... Nothing stays hidden from me. Even though I sleep a lot, I tend to keep my ears and eyes on everything that happens here... Even of your motherly love toward Chen... Because this is more or less how I feel toward you!"

She must be lying! She keeps bugging me to do things to her all the time!

"Hey, take it easy, okay?" - continued Yukari - "You can take a rest for today. I will go visit Yuyuko today, as she is awaiting for me."

"R-Right, Yukari-sama." - that was all I could say.

Not long after our little dialogue, she left with her fan and umbrella in hands, but this time she left her hat behind. I didn't question though, she must have her reasons... About reasons... I was reminded of mine to take Chen as my child... It all began long before Hakurei Reimu became the miko of the Hakurei shrine...

It was spring and Yukari decided to walk with me to Mayohiga. Nothing was different... The place seemed... Dead... Lifeless... But even so, I was ordered to hunt for something valuable... Or for someone... Whichever came first, actually. As I ventured past the abandoned houses, I felt I was being watched... Couldn't tell for sure who or what watched me, but it was closer and closer... Then I saw eyes, and my first thought was "Hahahah, very funny, Yukari-sama, but I won't run away and wet myself in fear again."

How wrong was I, to think it was Yukari. A Nekomata, bigger than me, jumped out of a house, breaking it appart in such act. I promptly ran, in fear, but trying to not leave any trail for that creature to follow. I was easily scared back then, I wasn't anywhere strong! And the creature still chased me. Was its sense of smell that strong? No matter how much I ran, it came closer and closer... Until there was I, cornered in an alley. I lost the control over my bladder and felt ashamed that I was still a scared fox. My thoughts went to Yukari back then... And the thought, suddenly, made me feel stronger. Back then I had no spellcard to call my own, and my abilities were restricted by the many seals on my hat.

Even with my power sealled, even with the lack of spellcards... Something made me strong and fast enough to fight this nekomata. My claws were unusually sharp, my feet barely touched the ground... It was as if I was flying and clawing this monster... It was bound to fall, and I saw it breath heavily... Something then fell from my hat. One of the many seals on my hat was also a spellcard... Without hesitation, I called it forth:

"Shikigami Sign - 'Pentagram Flight'!"

I didn't remember what happened... I had my eyes closed when I used it. But, when I openned my eyes, I saw myself standing before a wounded being. It didn't look like a monster cat with forked tails anymore, it was a woman, much like Yukari in height. She was wearing a tattered orange dress, stained with her own blood. Breathing heavily, she still had strength to speak:

"I-I won't let y-you touch my c-child!"

"C-Child?!" - I had to ask - "Where is this child?!"

"I won't-" - she replied, coughing some blood.

My eyes went to my own hands, stained with her blood... A horrible pain overcame my chest, and even more horrible thoughts stirred in my head. In this illusionary nightmare I have put myself into, I had failed to realize the nekomata was crawling away. Her sudden scream and loud coughing caused me to snap out of the trance and rush to her. My arms wrapped around her and I had to keep speaking with her:

"Where's your child?! What is your name?! Please, stay awake! My Yukari-sama will come to help you!"

"Hmph, that o-old gap hag!" - she spat blood on the ground - "I wouldn't be surprised if she was the one to manipulate you into coming after me."

"Yukari-sama isn't bad! You got to trust me!" - I was getting desperate... And could no longer hold the tears.

A smirk started to spread in her face, as I cried silently, trying to keep my eyes open.She motioned me to get closer to her... And I did it. She held my head and pulled me against her. The first thought was that she was going to eat me... But I was very mistaken. All she did was whisper:

"The burned house... Tell her nothing about it... I would never... rest... in... peac..e..."

Her lifeless body now rested in my arms, as I desperately cried for her, and for help. But no one came... I was alone there... Still shedding tears, I dug a grave to this nekomata, my hands bleeding from digging this hard ground. Most of my nails broke with the rocks in the way, but I managed to put her to rest in peace, praying for her. It was then when it hit me: I had to find her daughter.

It was a hard task, to find her... The burned house was bigger than I thought, and had more rooms than Yukari had years on his back. Almost gave up... Almost. It was then when a low cry reached my ears. And I ran into the bedroom, but couldn't find her. The floor board... She was under the floor board. Without hesitation, I broke the floor board, wounding myself and getting splinters into my fingers... But eventually I was blessed with this baby. She was crying and reaching out, as if wanting her mother. Did she knew her mother died? I hoped not. It was getting colder and I had to protect her from the cold wind, So I undressed and wrapped her in my clothes.

At first, when I returned to Yukari, she was unpleased about this baby. But what could be done? Yukari didn't approve pets in the Yakumo house, and told me I could only keep her until she weaned. But I couldn't do that... And how to tell that to Yukari? I really had no idea. And the time was running out. She started to reject the milk bottle and started to eat fish, mice, sparrows and, sometimes, insects.

It was then when I had to speak with Yukari about shikigami:

"Yukari-sama, where do shikigami come from?" - I asked in my foolish innocence.

"Ran... Have you not realized? You have been my shikigami and-" - Yukari replied, but I interrupted.

"I want to have that girl as my shikigami, Yukari-sama!" - I pouted, but that made Yukari laugh.

"Hey, hey, Ran... I know what you want... I said 'no pets allowed'... But shikigami is okay. A shikigami is like a pet or, how I like to see, as a daughter. It is not a physical condition... It is all psychological." - Yukari explained, but that just made me even more confused - "Yes, she can be your shikigami... But have you decided her name?"

That was it: she was my shikigami... But I had to pick her name. The horrible memory of her mother's death still haunted me and then I was reminded of her dress. An orange dress...

"CHEEEEEEN!" - I had to call out, making Yukari laugh.

"Chen, you mean." - Yukari corrected.

"Yes, her name will be Chen! She will be my shikigami!"

Since that day... I have been growing more and more attached to Chen... Not because I felt guilty for killing her mother... But because I finally understood, by then, what means to have a shikigami. Took long, but it was realy worth it. Now I put my little Chen to rest on her futon, kiss her cheek and whisper:

"Sleep well... My child..."

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"Hoi, reader! It is me, Yakumo Yukari! I know of your darkest secrets and I know you might have skipped a bit to check if there was anything naughty here. And what else? I know you have naughty thoughts about Ran and Chen. I'll be there by tonight and you better be wearing clean underwears before I eat you alive, okay?"